Has it ever happened to you that someone talks to you so much about a subject that you end up losing interest and even hating it? Sometimes, when we share our faith, we can cause that same effect without realizing it. Evangelizing is an act of love, but if we don’t do it carefully, we can push people away instead of bringing them closer.
Sharing God’s message is not always easy. Sometimes, with the best intentions, we make mistakes that, instead of inspiring or motivating, generate distance. And even if our faith is the center of our lives, this does not mean that we should mention it in every conversation or try to impose it. There are ways of evangelizing that, without realizing it, can become annoying or even harmful to our relationship with others.
Evangelization is not about imposing, but about sharing. It is about building bridges, not barriers. And to do this effectively, we must know when and how to speak of our faith, respecting the person in front of us and their circumstances. Here are some ways not to evangelize, so that your message is received with the love and respect it deserves.
Think of a song you love. You listen to it all the time and, excited, you decide to share it with a friend. But instead of casually introducing it to him or her, you decide to play it every time you’re together, talk about how amazing the lyrics are and how much it means to you, until, one day, your friend naturally doesn’t want to hear another word about the song.
This is what happens when we constantly talk about God regardless of whether the other person is interested or not. Even if our intention is good, insisting on a topic without asking ourselves if the other person is ready to hear it can generate rejection.
Another situation that occurs frequently is that of inviting someone to church as a first step in evangelism. It is natural for us to want others to experience what we feel, but if we have not taken the time to get to know their interests or concerns, a hasty invitation can seem empty or forced. It’s like inviting someone to a party without knowing if they like the type of music, the interests of the people attending, or if they are even in the mood to attend an event. Before inviting someone to church, it is essential to share other moments: listen to them, take an interest in their life, build an authentic relationship.
Then there is the mistake of bringing God into every conversation. As a cause or reference for everything. We know that God is always present, but that doesn’t mean that every conversation must revolve around Him. Think of how many times someone has brought up a topic repetitively in all their talks. There comes a point when it becomes tiresome. Even if you believe strongly in what you share, it’s important to find a balance. It’s not about avoiding talking about God, but about respecting the other person’s space and pace, so as not to overwhelm them. No one wants to feel like you’re bringing up the same topic over and over again, no matter what they’re talking about.
Another aspect to consider is to avoid a tone of arrogance. It is true that as Christians we feel that we know a profound and transforming truth. But if we share it with a tone of superiority, the only thing we will achieve is to make the other person feel small or ignorant. To evangelize is not to say “I know something you don’t,” but to humbly share a personal experience, recognizing that we are all in a process of growth. No one likes to be made to feel inferior, ignorant or looked down upon. Much less being dictated to about what you should do or what you should believe in. If you want the message to be received, it must come from a place of love, which means humility, and not arrogance or self-centeredness.
We must also avoid the “box format,” which consists of ignoring or not respecting the personal experience of others. When we evangelize, we sometimes run the risk of wanting to fit everyone into the same box, as if there were only one way of living the faith. But each person has his or her own story, his or her own experiences and his or her own path. Listening to what the other person has lived is key. If we do not take into account their story, their pain, their doubts or joys, it is likely that the message will not be well received. Faith is not a rigid mold; it is something living that adapts and responds to the life of each person.
And of course, there is the issue of consistency between what is said and what is lived. Nothing is more powerful than a good example. If our actions do not reflect what we say, our message loses value. It’s like talking about the benefits of healthy eating while eating junk food. Consistency is key: if you preach love, your life must reflect that love. If you talk about humility, your attitude must be humble. In the end, people not only listen to what we say, but they observe how we live and how we are.
To evangelize is to share a personal experience. It is not convincing, it is sowing. With intelligence, love and patience, and putting the person in front of us in first place. If you are going to talk about God, always do it with humility.